Out Of Character Experience
by H. S. Hines
Summary: An off the wall comedy about InuYasha... What happens when Sesshomaru comes back to ask for his arm? Hopefully, comedy. Complete, oneshot. Nominated for Best Comedy at the IYFG, 3rd Quarter, 2005. Won 1st place at the Feudal Association for best OOC!


_Disclaimer: If I owned the characters, do you really think this would be on a 'fanfic' site? No, in case you thought that was a real question. And to keep you from splitting hairs, I DON'T OWN THEM. I just torture them in alternate realities. I also don't own "Nookie", Limp Bizkit does._

Genre: Parody, Comedy  
Code: Inu/Kag (and a bunch ofjoke pairings)  
Rating: M  
Feedback: Yes, please, but keep in mind, THIS IS A PARODY. That means it's a JOKE. Look at the title. Yes, OOC is the theme. That doesn't mean they're all OOC all the time, in fact, I tried to leave them IN character as often as possible, BUT I abandoned my fixation with it and character was sacrificed for comedy whenever possible. And of course, it degenerates into an actual story eventually. It had to happen sometime. Okay, this is becoming a note…

_Notes: Dedicated to Alex, who was the inspiration for this story (and the authoress of a couple lines). This story was born from an IM conversation we had, joking about Sesshomaru. She and I agreed it was okay for us to both write a parody from it and here's mine! Quotes and description of black pearl removal are from the manga, not the anime._

**Out Of Character Experience**

It was a dark and stormy night. All the whos down in whosville were asnooze in their beds. Then I started writing my own story. Based off someone else's idea. Okay, so how about a fourth wall? (Wall falls into place with a bang; InuYasha screams as it lands on his foot).

"Did you have to yell so loud?" Kagome asked, sticking her finger in her ear and rubbing it.

"Where the hell did that wall come from?" InuYasha asked, hopping around on one foot.

"Watch it!" Shippo yelled, running out of the hanyo's mad hopping path. Shippo hopped onto Kagome's shoulder to escape and Kagome started humming the 'cancan' theme. InuYasha finally stopped and glared at her.

"That wasn't funny," he said, rubbing his swollen toes. Kagome giggled a little and InuYasha glared at her. Sango and Miroku were both rather confused, since they hadn't seen this 'wall' InuYasha spoke of. As far as they had seen, he had just suddenly screamed and started hopping around like he was dancing… or possessed. Possessed by a dancing demon, perhaps?

"Can we please just move on?" Shippo asked. "It's getting dark and I don't want to be stuck in this frightening forest at night."

"You're a fox, why would you be scared of the forest?" InuYasha asked.

"Because those monkeys are wearing outfits like Kagome," Shippo answered, pointing. They all looked at the three monkeys in the tree, wearing miniature green sailor suits.

"I'm not sure if that's cute or really scary," Kagome said, backing away. The monkeys all had their little fists clasped together and hearts in their eyes as they spied their heroine. "They look like fangirls…"

"What's a fangirl?" Miroku asked, liking the sound of it.

"A girl who obsesses over a favorite character in an anime or manga," Kagome answered. "They aren't dangerous unless they form a pack or run out of pocky."

"What's anime?" Sango asked.

"Er, that one's harder to explain. It's like moving manga."

"Manga is those picture books you have in your backpack, right?" Sango asked.

"Yeah."

"Isn't anime on that television thing?" InuYasha asked. Kagome sighed, knowing what the next question would be, so she answered it before anyone could ask.

"Television is a box with moving pictures," Kagome said. Miroku closed his mouth. After a moment, he spied a chance to engage in one of his favorite pastimes and a few seconds later, a red handprint decorated his cheek and a blush colored Sango's. Kagome rolled her eyes and wondered if the two of them would ever get over themselves.

The next day, they were walking again (walking, walking, always walking) and something interesting finally happened. A huge fight broke out when a bear youkai crashed into them and started a fight. About ten minutes into it, Miroku suffered a severe blow to the head and fell unconscious. The bear dragged the fight a couple dozen meters away, leaving Miroku alone in the clearing. Fortunately, he didn't have a buddy to eat Miroku as he lay helpless on the ground. Unfortunately, Sesshomaru, who was stalking his little brother, stumbled onto the fallen monk. He knelt down to examine the man, looking for clues as to why he was injured and left behind.

Now see, this was the absolute worst time Miroku could have awakened. So, of course, that's when it happened. He smelled a light perfume and smiled slightly, thinking it was Sango or Kagome. Either way, he decided to cop a feel and his hand always had deadly accuracy.

Sango returned to the field at this exact moment and what she saw caused her to trip and fall flat on her face. The look on Sesshomaru's face was one of such shock that she had been transfixed, having never seen such facial expression on the demon lord. As a result, a rock managed to jut out at precisely the right moment to send her sprawling. InuYasha had been right behind her and tried to stop when she hit the ground, but he also saw his brother's face and while he succeeded in skidding to a halt, he was too distracted to prepare for Kagome slamming into him from behind. He fell on Sango in a rather undignified position, Kagome on top of him.

Shippo observed all of this safely from Kirara's back. The twin-tail had seen so much in her life that she was unfazed by Sesshomaru's shock and she easily sidestepped the pileup. Miroku heard InuYasha's 'oomph' as he hit the ground and he opened his eyes. His head was turned so that the first thing he saw was the undignified heap of his friends. They appeared to be doing something nefarious without him and while he felt angry for a moment, he realized that both the women in his group were in the pile. Which begged the question, upon whose backside did his hand rest?

In almost slow motion, Miroku turned to look at the startled face of his victim. The look of shock passed and Sesshomaru's eyes slid down to meet the monk's. Miroku slid his hand out from under the armor (that he hadn't even noticed until that moment) and slowly drew his hand back to his side.

"My hand is possessed?" he offered as an excuse. Sesshomaru continued to stare at him, then his lip curved up in a small smile. Miroku wasn't sure how to feel, but something told him that he needed to flee, flee for his life! Miroku, not one to ignore a good instinct, rolled onto his knees and shot off as fast as his feet would take him. "Will you three cease your orgy and help me?"

"ORGY?" Kagome yelled as she slid off InuYasha. InuYasha, for his part, yelped in horror at the accusation and scuttled away from both women, his ears flat against his head. Miroku backed up nervously, wondering if perhaps he would have been safer with the taiyoukai than with the angry schoolgirl.

"My mistake. You have to admit, the position was a bit… compromising!" Miroku said, holding his hands out in front of him and retreating further.

"At least I didn't have my hand on Sesshomaru's ass!" InuYasha yelled. Miroku flushed and scratched his in embarrassment.

"I thought it was Sango," Miroku said, trying to dig out of the hole he was currently sinking in. Of course, everyone knows you can't dig _out_ of a hole, but the monk certainly tried! It was much to the effect of switching a shovel for a backhoe, though.

"Excuse me?" both Sango and Sesshomaru demanded. Miroku was becoming increasingly certain that he was going to die, right here, right now.

"I'm not sure who's more insulted," Shippo said to InuYasha. InuYasha nodded to the kitsune.

"I think Sesshomaru is," InuYasha whispered. "Sango's got the bigger butt." Unfortunately for InuYasha, Sango heard him and so did Kagome.

"OSUWARI!" (Translation: "sit boy") THWOMP! (Translation: the sound when InuYasha's face met the ground) InuYasha glanced up at Kagome, whimpering.

"Thank you, Kagome," Sango said. Shippo just stared at InuYasha in shock.

"Even I know better than to say something like that!" Shippo exclaimed. InuYasha made a rude gesture with his hand.

"If you are done," Sesshomaru said. "I have come to look for something I have misplaced."

"Huh?" Kagome queried, "What?"

"I think you've seen it. My arm," he held out his right arm, letting the sleeve slide back. "About yea long, stripes on the wrists, poison in the claws. I was rather attached to it, you see, when InuYasha _**cut **it off_." InuYasha glared up at him from the ground.

"What are you talking about? How could you get it back?"

"It's quite simple, actually," Sesshomaru started to say before he was rudely interrupted by an even bigger bear youkai emerging from the woods. She was twice the size of the one before and looked rather pissed off.

"**You killed my mate**!" She roared.

"Ah, shit," InuYasha said, leaping back and drawing Tetsusaiga. He ended up standing next to his brother, which meant he heard the low comment Sesshomaru made.

"What a fat bitch," Sesshomaru grumbled. InuYasha's jaw dropped open and the bear youkai's head swung around to glare at the brothers.

"**What did you say**?" she bellowed. Sesshomaru blinked, his face remaining completely blank.

"I said I have a bad itch," he replied, raising his voice. The bear wrinkled her ugly nose and he muttered under his breath, "Fat bitch." She apparently didn't hear the second time, because she was too busy trying to eat Kagome. Kagome shrieked and ran away, barely missing being chomped on. Sesshomaru looked bored as he stepped to the side, waiting for the good guys to finish off their opponent. It didn't take them long, as she was rather clumsy. Poor Shippo got stepped on as she ran about, trying to dodge the wind scar, but thankfully, no permanent damage was done. Miroku finally had to suck her into his wind tunnel.

"Now what was it you were going on about?" InuYasha asked, stalking up to his brother.

"I want to rip out your eye and visit father's grave. Do you mind?" Sesshomaru asked, pushing his hair back behind his ear and looking bored.

"Yeah, actually, I do!" InuYasha growled, readying Tetsusaiga.

"Well, then it's a good thing I don't care that you mind," Sesshomaru responded, then struck before InuYasha could move. He held the bloody black pearl in his hand while his brother screamed. "Oh, this might hurt a little," Sesshomaru said. "Jaken?"

"Aye, my lord!" the imp called, running out from his hiding place with the staff of heads. He plopped it on the pearl and the man began to laugh. Soon, there was a swirling vortex and the two villains disappeared into it. InuYasha growled at the portal, preparing to jump in, then changed his mind. He grabbed Kagome's arm before she could crawl though and shook his head.

"I'm sick of this and I'm sick of my stupid brother," InuYasha said. Then he turned to the gateway and closed it behind Sesshomaru. The pearl fell back into his eye and he grinned, wiping the blood off his face. "There. Let's see him get out of there. He wants a piece of our father so much, he can live with him." Everyone was staring at him in shock.

"How long before you think he starves to death?" Kagome asked after getting over the shock of defeating Sesshomaru so easily.

"Huh? I don't think that will be a problem," InuYasha said. "See, my brother eats…" then he stopped. "Um, actually, I think you'd be happier not knowing." They all stood there for a moment, contemplating the statement. At once, they all had looks of disgust cross their faces as various possibilities filled their minds.

Sesshomaru sighed contentedly as his arm returned to its proper place. He flexed his fingers experimentally, and then he turned to leave. When he stepped out of his father's remains, however, he knew something was wrong. He was seeing an odd scene where his brother's companions were gigantic, filling the entire sky. He looked back down at the corpse of his father, preferring the sight by far. Then Jaken looked up and asked what was wrong. Sesshomaru sighed and looked back out at the mortals.

"InuYasha?" He called loudly, hoping his brother could hear him. Everything went black for a second and Sesshomaru took a moment to realize that InuYasha had just blinked. He called again and again, his brother blinked. "So you can hear me," Sesshomaru called.

"Shut up," echoed through the dead world.

"What?" Kagome asked. Everything went dark and Sesshomaru closed his eyes until the light returned.

"My lord?" Jaken asked, then shrieked when he saw the enormous face of the human girl InuYasha cared for. Jaken ran back into the bones of Inu no Taisho, not looking back.

"I'm bored," Kagome said. "I don't sense any shards and we don't know where Naraku is. Can we please take a break?"

"Yeah, I guess," InuYasha said. Kagome grinned and sat down, everyone joining her.

"I brought some music," Kagome said, pulling out a strange looking box from her bag. Sesshomaru wondered what she meant by her statement. A moment later, he didn't want to know anymore. He clapped his hands over his ears and cringed.

"**_Tell her to shut if off_**!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Hey, Kagome," InuYasha said. Sesshomaru felt some of the tension leave him. His brother was going to do as he said. "Turn it up." Sesshomaru's eyes widened as the 'music' got louder.

"What is 'nookie'?" InuYasha asked after the word repeated several times in the song. Sesshomaru didn't care, he was starting to get a headache and he wondered if he swung Toukijin, if he could hit the blasted box. And perhaps all the mortals along with it.

"It—er—well…" Kagome blushed. "It means sex," she said quickly. Sesshomaru flinched. He didn't need to hear this. He saw the monk smile broadly.

"I like this song."

"You would," Sango said. "It may as well have been written for you."

"I did it all for the nookie, the nookie," Miroku sang. Sesshomaru had to admit that the monk sang better than the fool in the box. He wondered what a cookie was, though.

"It's a cover, of course," Kagome said. "The original song was in English."

"That other language you study in school?" Sango asked. Kagome nodded.

"Was it still 'nookie' in English?" Miroku asked.

"Yup," Kagome answered.

"Stick it up your—" Sesshomaru yelled on top of the music. The light dimmed and he guessed he had just made his brother flinch. Sesshomaru smiled and began singing along as loudly as possible.

"Yeah, Kagome, how about we listen to something else?" InuYasha asked.

"As soon as this song's over," Kagome said. "What's wrong, InuYasha? Is it hurting your ears?"

"You might say that."

"Don't you like your older brother's voice?" Sesshomaru yelled. "You won't have to hear it any longer if you release me." InuYasha didn't respond. Instead, he was watching that obnoxious human girl as she rummaged through her pack. She dropped something and as she leaned over to get it, his brother focused all his attention on her and Sesshomaru realized he could see up her skirt. "**_Let me out, you damn, filthy little hanyo_**!" Sesshomaru screamed, reaching his limit. "And _stop staring_ at that girl's _ass_! I thought the _monk _was the pervert in your group!" InuYasha looked away and Sesshomaru hoped he would let him out. Unfortunately, he turned back to Kagome as she turned and leaned forward, her shirt gapping a little. Sesshomaru was overcome with the desire to slap his brother. He didn't need to look at some human girl's breasts. Especially without her knowledge. He had plenty of women willing and eager to show him theirs. "You're disgusting." Sesshomaru growled. "Is this the only way you can see a female's attributes? Do humans find you as repulsive as I do?"

"Fuck you," InuYasha growled under the music, for Sesshomaru's ears only, staring down at his claws.

"I am not interested in incest, dear brother. You are more disturbed than I realized."

"That's it," InuYasha hissed. "If you're not going to shut up, then enjoy the show." InuYasha looked up at the human girl. "Hey, Kagome," he called.

"Yes?"

"Come here," he said, standing and reaching out his hand. Kagome blushed, but took it and followed him. Sesshomaru's ears felt relief as they walked away from the noisy box. But he knew whatever his brother had in mind was going to be just as bad, if not worse. They walked away from the others until they were standing under a rather lovely canopy of trees. InuYasha admired the view for a while and Sesshomaru wondered what was going on.

"Why did you ask me to come here?" Kagome asked. InuYasha looked down at her and ran his fingers through her hair. She blushed again, and then her eyes went wide as InuYasha leaned towards her. Sesshomaru glared at the sky as the girl's startled face grew until all he could see was her closed eyes. What's worse, he could _hear _them make out. He was quite certain he was going to be sick.

"You… bastard," Sesshomaru hissed, staring at his father's remains so he didn't have to see what his brother was doing. The lighting changed and he couldn't help but look up. The girl was lying back on the grass, InuYasha's hand on her stomach as he leaned in again. "Don't…" Sesshomaru hissed. "Stop. I have never done anything this terrible to you! No, don't! _Please_, do **_not _**have sex with that girl when I have to _watch_!" InuYasha's hand crept up Kagome's stomach and Sesshomaru pulled Toukijin, deciding he would kill them all rather than watch what was about to happen. He swung the blade, releasing its power, but it dissipated harmlessly, leaving him a full view of his brother copping a feel.

Kagome shrieked and scooted back, slapping InuYasha. "Hey!" InuYasha protested.

"Damnit, InuYasha," Kagome said, standing and tugging her shirt down irritably. "I would have expected that from Miroku, not you! What's wrong with you?" she stormed off in a huff.

"Pathetic," Sesshomaru mocked, feeling immensely relieved. "You can't even get anywhere with a mortal girl who is obviously in love with you." He glared when he heard InuYasha laugh.

"Do you really think I would have done that for real with you bitching in my head?" InuYasha laughed. "You said please. You were _begging_ me."

"I _will _find a way out of here and when I do, you're going to suffer, you son of a bitch," Sesshomaru hissed in fury.

"Actually, _my_ mother was _human_," InuYasha said. "As you're so fond of reminding me. _Your _mother was the bitch." Sesshomaru lifted a skull and flung it in the general direction of where the portal had opened, knowing it would do no good. Still, it made him feel a little better.

That evening the brothers tried to ignore each other as best they could, but when InuYasha decided to watch Kagome bathe from his nightly perch in a tree, Sesshomaru began bitching again. InuYasha ignored him and continued watching the girl from the safety of the tree; glad she didn't know he was there. The first few times he had seen her bathing had been accidents, but then he had started… reacting… to seeing her like that. He avoided her out of respect most nights, but he wasn't feeling particularly polite tonight. When his body reacted to seeing Kagome washing her breasts, he looked below to make sure no one could see what he was doing before sliding his hands into his pants.

He looked away from Kagome, not wanting to violate her privacy _that _much, closed his eyes and began pleasuring himself. He kept most of his senses focused externally, not wanting to be caught with his pants down, literally, if a youkai attacked their camp. He opened his eyes to get a quick look around and saw himself exposed in his peripheral vision. He didn't think anything of it, having forgotten the curse he had subjected himself to, until Sesshomaru spoke up.

"What are you doing?" the youkai asked, horrified. That was a part of his brother he had never wanted to see. Not that he particularly wanted to see any part of his brother, but to see him exposed and _masturbating_... He was horrified, considering that he was within his brother as he did that. InuYasha stopped and swore under his breath.

"Just shut the fuck up and don't think about it," InuYasha hissed. "I forgot you were there and would prefer to keep it that way."

"I hate you," Sesshomaru growled, rolling over into the tie of his father's sash, which he was using as a bed. Jaken had refused to leave the hollowed torso of the Inu no Taisho.

"The feeling's mutual," InuYasha whispered, resuming his solo. He wasn't as into it as before, though, and went rather violently, coming quickly and as silently as always. He loved sleeping in trees because of the safety and privacy. He didn't understand why people would want to sleep in a group on the ground. How could they possibly take care of things like this? Then he thought that maybe they didn't and that was why Miroku was always so lascivious. He cleaned himself off with his eyes closed so that Sesshomaru couldn't see what he was doing.

Sesshomaru woke the next morning in his father's grave and sighed. He had hoped it was just a horrible nightmare. Apparently, he was wrong. He looked up, but his brother was still asleep. He frowned, thinking of Rin, waiting for him with only Ah-Un for guard and company. As competent as Ah-Un was, Sesshomaru didn't like leaving her alone for so long. He had told her to wait, which meant she was probably still sitting in the same place that he left her. He worried about her until InuYasha awoke for the day.

When the grave flooded with light, Sesshomaru found a place to stretch and do his morning exercises. After all, he had to keep his figure. It wouldn't do to laze about just because there was a chance he would never fight another battle or rut another woman again. InuYasha was completely oblivious to his brother within his eye as he went about his own morning routine.

They set out for the day in relatively high spirits, except Sesshomaru, whom everyone had forgotten. Everyone, that is, apart from his brother and both would have been happier to forget the other. InuYasha's spirits sank even further when he caught the stench of wolf. Sure enough, Koga appeared within moments to talk to Kagome. He flirted shamelessly and InuYasha growled, but knew better than to interfere unless Koga actually touched her.

"Oh, I didn't know that wolf was your girl's lover," Sesshomaru taunted in a bored voice. "I'm glad I didn't kill him, then. She obviously has better tastes than I ascribed to her earlier. And it's no wonder she rebuffed you if she has convinced a youkai to share her bed."

"**_SHUT UP_**!" InuYasha screamed. Everyone in the party turned and stared at him. Sesshomaru smiled. He had obviously found a sore spot. He wondered how close to the mark he had hit. He hoped that it would goad his brother into removing him from his eye so that he could attempt to kill him, but he was wrong. Instead, InuYasha turned his rage to the wolf.

"What's up with you, muttface?" Koga taunted.

"Get the hell away from her, now," InuYasha growled.

"InuYasha!" Kagome admonished, blushing and frowning.

"Hmph. He's a bit unstable, don't you think?" Koga asked. "I'm not sure he can be trusted around you. You should really come back with me, Kagome."

"No, really, I'm fine! Really, Koga-kun, you don't have to—" Kagome said, waving Koga away. But InuYasha had already sprung, spurred on by his brother's taunts and his own insecurities. Koga jumped out of the way as InuYasha's fist cut through the air of the space the youkai had just occupied. InuYasha was ready for it though, and spun around, kicking Koga in the chest. Koga hit the ground with a thunk and jumped back up, lashing out with his own leg at InuYasha, who dodged it.

"What are you doing? I'm over here!" InuYasha yelled before swinging a punch at Koga. Koga dodged and struck InuYasha in the face. InuYasha hit the ground, but bounced back up quickly, sending another blow at Koga. The two began fighting so fast that the humans in the party (and Shippo) were unable to follow their movements anymore. Sesshomaru was able to easily do so and began taunting InuYasha anew over every mistake he made fighting.

"If you had waited just a heartbeat longer, that would have landed." "Now that was just plain stupid." "I saw that coming a mile away." InuYasha yelled at his brother to shut up and Koga froze in mid-kick, startled by the hanyo when he started yelling at himself.

"If you don't have anything constructive to say, just shut the fuck up!" InuYasha growled, then glared at Koga, who still had his leg in the air. "And what's with you? Are you going to fight or dance? Yeah, I see you can hold a pose, but I don't particularly find the view very—" Koga had swung around and kicked him in the face while he was still mocking him.

"Look, you insolent puppy, I don't know what the hell's wrong with you, but I'm not going to endanger Kagome by leaving her with you since you've obviously gone insane!" With that, Koga turned around, grabbed Kagome and ran off.

"**_Damn it_**!" InuYasha yelled, then ran after Koga. "I don't suppose Shippo managed to hitch a ride on Kagome again," InuYasha growled.

"Nope, sorry," Shippo said, popping up behind InuYasha's shoulder. InuYasha, startled by the kitsune's sudden appearance, stumbled and fell on his face, the proceeded to yell and rant at poor little Shippo. "I'm telling Kagome when you get her back that you were mean to me!" Shippo yelled. InuYasha made another rude gesture and turned to run after her again.

"And now you've lost the girl. Truly useless, aren't you? What a dismal life you must lead, always failing at everything you do."

"Look who's talking," InuYasha yelled as he ran, no longer caring if he looked crazy. Miroku glanced over at him, and then increased the distance between them slightly when InuYasha continued talking. "You haven't accomplished a single thing I've seen you set out to do!"

"InuYasha, be fair to yourself," Miroku called. "You have defeated many foes and made Tetsusaiga stronger than anyone expected!"

"I wasn't talking to myself!" InuYasha yelled back.

"What? _I _didn't say anything! Why would you say such a terrible thing to one of your friends?" Miroku shouted back, looking upset, but closing the distance he had created when he believed InuYasha was losing his mind.

"I'm talking to Sesshomaru, you idiot!" InuYasha yelled angrily.

"What?" Miroku and Sango called at the same time.

"He's in my eye, remember?" InuYasha bellowed. "Well, apparently, he can see and hear out of it and I can hear him! And he's being a real bastard!"

"Well that explains it," Shippo said from InuYasha's shoulder. "And here I thought you were just going crazy." InuYasha thumped him on the head and didn't turn around when the kit fell off his shoulder, wailing. He knew someone else would pick him up. Sure enough, when Kirara came back into sight with Sango, Shippo was sitting in front of the demon slayer. InuYasha figured he'd be running all day, but he was wrong. Less than an hour after he started this chase, he had to skid to a halt in front of Kagome, who was red faced and fuming. Koga was sitting on the ground, looking dazed, a bright red handprint on his cheek.

"What the hell is going on here?" InuYasha growled.

"I told Koga to let me go, he wouldn't do it, so I kicked him," Kagome explained. "He tripped and fell on me and… and…"

"What?" InuYasha yelled.

"He was happy to be there!" Kagome wailed.

"Huh?" InuYasha said, confused. "I don't get it."

"She means he was excited," Sesshomaru said from within his eye. "Certainly you can relate."

"Shut the fuck up," InuYasha growled.

"Can't you come up with an original line?" Sesshomaru asked, sighing. "I do tire of hearing that."

"And I'm sick of you in general," InuYasha replied.

"There he goes again!" Koga yelled, pointing. InuYasha realized that he hadn't heard what Kagome had said because of his brother and he got angrier.

"You could remedy this situation by simply plucking me out of your eye," Sesshomaru responded.

"He's not actually going crazy," Miroku offered. "His brother is trapped in his eye and keeps making disparaging comments."

"His brother. Su-u-u-u-u-ure," Koga said, making a 'crazy' gesture with one hand.

"No, it's true, we saw him put him in there," Sango said.

"Oh, so that's what's going on," Kagome said.

"Yes, apparently, Sesshomaru can see and hear everything InuYasha can," Miroku said.

"Ev…ery…thing?" Kagome stuttered. "You **_jerk_**, you were showing off last night for your _brother_!" Kagome shrieked, the area behind her bursting into flames as she clenched her fists and shot a death glare at InuYasha. Koga yelped when his pelt caught on fire and he ran off, beating at it to put out the flames. Sango sighed and grabbed a bucket of water from off camera to douse the flames of Kagome's rage. In the meantime, InuYasha was cowering in terror in front of Kagome.

"I was not!" he protested. "Well, not exactly," he amended.

"OOOSSSUUUUWAAARRRIIIIIIIIII!" she screamed. Sesshomaru's eyes widened at the sight of the ground hurtling towards him faster than he had ever seen. A sound like thunder filled the world around him as InuYasha impacted.

"Kagome…" InuYasha whimpered, looking up at her, but she wasn't finished.

"Sit-sit-sit-sit-sit-sit-sit-sit-sit!" Kagome shrieked. Sesshomaru covered his ears to drown out both the girl's voice and the noise of the spell as it dug his brother deeper into the earth. Once it was over, he released his hands and smiled out into the sky.

"Why thank you," Sesshomaru said to Kagome.

"Oh! To think you would—just to tease your brother—you… you…" Kagome couldn't seem to find the words, so she resorted to an easy one, "Osuwari!"

"Stop!" InuYasha wailed, "You're going to kill me!"

"You'd deserve it!" Kagome yelled, crossing her arms and spinning around. Koga backed slowly away, intimidated by Kagome's anger. He had seen InuYasha subjugated before, but never like that.

"What exactly did you do to her, Dog-crap?" Koga demanded. InuYasha barely managed to make a hand gesture. "Same to you," Koga growled.

"Yes, what did happen last night?" Miroku asked; his interest aroused.

"Oh, do tell them," Sesshomaru said. "Especially what you were doing in the tree while they all tried to sleep."

"That's none of your business!" Kagome yelled.

"Nothing you wouldn't have done," InuYasha grumbled. Miroku's jaw dropped open and his eyes went wide.

"You shouldn't do such things in front of others, InuYasha, it's not right." Miroku chastised. InuYasha just shrugged as he sat up, rubbing his back.

"Fine," InuYasha said, standing. "You want her, Koga? Take the damn necklace with her," he said, tugging at his curse. Of course, it wouldn't leave his neck, but he turned and walked off, limping from the multiple subduing commands. "_You_ can be her bitch." Kagome gasped, shocked.

"InuYasha?" she asked softly, but he had already disappeared into the forest. They all stared after him, stunned.

"He'll be back," Shippo said.

InuYasha had every intention of eventually returning, but right then, he decided it wasn't the best time. Besides, he knew Kagome would be going home soon. It was coming on that time of the month when he welcomed her leaving. Unfortunately, Sango got the same way at the same time, so he still had to deal with her smell and moods, but at least she didn't have the power to slam his face into the ground on a whim. And Kagome had a lot more whims during her time.

He stayed away the rest of the day, doing his best to ignore his brother, who had taken up reciting bad poetry about himself in battle. InuYasha finally resorted to humming very loudly and spinning around in circles, trying to punish his brother. Sesshomaru closed his eyes against the spinning world and started singing "Nookie" again, remembering how much his brother had hated that. InuYasha responded by singing with him, even louder.

So when the group found InuYasha, he was spinning around in circles and singing Limp Bizkit very, very loudly. It was actually his bad singing that they had traced (although no one wanted to get closer, actually, they figured they could best shut him up if they were nearby). They called to him, but he obviously couldn't hear them. So Kagome sighed and 'sat' him. InuYasha plummeted to the ground. Instead of getting up angrily, he just lay there and Kagome worried that maybe she had given him one 'sit' too many. She ran over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, shaking him. She could see him breathing, but he didn't move.

"InuYasha?" she asked, rolling him over. He glared at her, but didn't say anything. "Is it Sesshomaru?" she asked. He continued to glare at her. She frowned. "Can I help?" InuYasha just stared at her. Kagome's frown deepened, then an idea came to her mind, remembering the night before. She glanced behind her. "Miroku, will you please turn around?"

"Why?" Miroku asked.

"Just do it!" Kagome yelled. Miroku jumped back, startled, then turned away. Kagome turned back to InuYasha, who was still staring at her intently and looking pissed off, but he continued to say nothing. "I hope this helps," she said, then grabbed the bottom of her shirt, rolling it up. She leaned forward for a moment, then pulled her shirt and bra up in one tug, flashing him. InuYasha's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. He turned bright red for a moment, but then grinned broadly and sat up, laughing. Kagome looked at him curiously and dropped her shirt as he grabbed and hugged her, laughing against her shoulder. "Not the exact reaction I was expecting," she said.

"Sess… Sesshomaru is… cussing… like me," InuYasha managed to gasp out. He let her go and continued laughing while she fixed her shirt. "Thank you, Kagome, you saved me from the worst poetry I've heard in my life!"

"Poetry?" everyone asked at once.

"Yes, I think he was going to actually kill me with it," InuYasha growled, rubbing his right eye.

"Why don't you just let him out?" Kagome asked.

"Because I am sick and tired of him coming after me for this or that. I don't give a rat's ass about him or what he does most of the time, but he won't leave me alone."

"Let me out and I will go as far from here as possible," Sesshomaru said, spying hope. "You have my word."

"Not good enough," InuYasha said. "I'm sure you'll go, alright. _After_ you've killed us all. Promise you won't kill me or my friends."

"I hope you choke on your own tongue," Sesshomaru responded.

"What did he say?" Kagome asked.

"I think he said no," InuYasha answered.

"Well, there's no helping it," Kagome said. "But I have to go home," Kagome said.

"I know," InuYasha responded.

"Huh? How did you know?" Kagome asked.

"Because you're about to…" InuYasha stopped, realizing that it might not be a good idea to bring _that _up again. He had made the mistake of mentioning her bleeding once and had earned the second super-sit of his life. "Uh, didn't you say… you had a… test or something?" InuYasha covered quickly. Kagome blushed and looked away.

"Uh, yeah, something like that," she said. They sat there in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, then Sango spoke up.

"Um, speaking of… _that_," she said, knowing full well why Kagome was going back. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" Sango looked around, but Miroku was gone, so she settled a glare on InuYasha. "Alone?"

"Yeah, yeah, like I want to hear about _that _anyway," InuYasha grumbled, walking away with Shippo.

"Kagome," Sango said once she figured InuYasha was out of earshot. "I really appreciate you bringing those things for me. They're so much more convenient than what I had to use before I met you." Kagome smiled and nodded. "But I'm out…"

"And you need more?" Kagome said, reaching into her backpack when Sango nodded.

"I just used the last one and was waiting to ask if you had any," Sango answered.

"No problem," Kagome said, pulling out a tampon. She held it out to Sango, who reached for it and froze. Miroku had, once again, displayed the terrible sense of timing he had developed lately. He looked at the little wrapped object curiously.

"What is that?" Miroku asked. Both girls blushed and dropped it, pulling their hands back to their bodies.

"Uh…" Sango said, looking down at it in embarrassment.

"Um," Kagome added. Miroku, wondering why the girls would be so embarrassed about something that resembled one of Kagome's candy wrappers, started to kneel and reach for it.

"_Don't touch it!_" both girls yelled at once. Frightened, Miroku fell back on his butt, lifting his hand defensively.

"_What is it_?" he yelled back, trying to slow his racing heart. Both girls went from embarrassed to angry and Kagome picked it up, handing it to Sango, who stalked off out of sight. Miroku stood back up and looked at Kagome curiously.

"If you must know," Kagome said angrily, "It's a tampon."

"A what?" Miroku asked in confusion. She explained it to him as fast as she could. Miroku stared at her in horror, then turned around and walked quickly away. "You should have just told me to mind my own business," he grumbled back at her.

"Then you should have minded it!" Kagome said, grabbed her bag and walked back to the well. She hopped down and crawled out in her own time, practically running to the bathroom. Her mom greeted her, but she barely took the time to kick her shoes off as she tore through the house.

One potty break and a hot bath later, she came back down, greeted her family and raided the fridge. She updated her family on goings on in the feudal era (her brother was obsessed with InuYasha sticking Sesshomaru in his eye and insisted on her telling him over and over about it). She finally just ran back down the well to give Sango the tampons she promised to escape her brother's endless questions.

InuYasha saw Kagome come out of the well and wondered what she was doing back, but was distracted by his brother's recent obsession—questioning everything he saw.

"Why is that girl climbing out of a well?" Sesshomaru asked. InuYasha ignored him. "Does she live in the well? She said she was going home. Why does she live in a well? Is she mentally unbalanced? Why are you slamming your head into that tree? Are _you _mentally unbalanced?" Sesshomaru was smiling, although InuYasha couldn't see it. InuYasha knew it was going to be a long day. He was nearly to the point where he would gladly rip out his own eye to shut Sesshomaru up. He would rip it out, then stomp on it until there was nothing left. He'd grow a new one, eventually.

The next day, InuYasha wondered if Sesshomaru had died, because he hadn't said anything since the hanyo woke up. InuYasha was both relieved and slightly unnerved by the silence. He had no idea what Sesshomaru was plotting and it worried him. Finally, as evening rolled around, Sesshomaru spoke up.

"As much as I loathe saying this, InuYasha, I would be even more displeased to be considered negligent in my duties."

"Spit it out already."

"I left Rin alone."

"Who is Rin?" InuYasha asked. "That kid we saw you with?"

"Yes." The brothers said nothing to each other for a few minutes, then InuYasha responded.

"Where is she?" the hanyo asked. He heard Sesshomaru sigh and then followed his directions for most of the night. He saw a child sleeping against the great two-headed dragon Sesshomaru rode and knew he was in the right place. "Rin?" he queried. She sat up, looked at him and started to stand, then blinked and rubbed her eyes. She frowned.

"Where is Sesshomaru-sama?" she asked.

"That is a long story," InuYasha answered. Rin's eyes went big.

"He's not… dead?" Her lower lip began to tremble and InuYasha, afraid of tears, held out his hand.

"No! He's fine! He's in my eye!"

"What?" Rin asked, looking at him as one peers at someone who has just climbed on a rooftop and started singing while dancing an Irish jig.

"I said it was a long story," InuYasha mumbled. "Come on, you can't stay here alone, it's not safe." Rin shook her head.

"You have hair and eyes like my lord, but you're not him and he told me to stay here."

"Smart girl," Sesshomaru said. "I am pleased that she doesn't trust you."

"You're not helping," InuYasha grumbled. Ah leaned out and sniffed InuYasha while Un leaned down to protect Rin with his head. InuYasha sighed. "What can I do to convince you that Sesshomaru is with me?"

"Um…" Rin thought about it for a few minutes. "What is my favorite color of flower?"

"Pink," Sesshomaru answered without a moment's hesitation. InuYasha, on the other hand, couldn't say anything for a moment. '_What a personal thing to know_,' he thought, '_Just what **is **their relationship?_' InuYasha repeated him, but Rin was frowning now.

"You took to long to answer. I think you just guessed."

"I was too busy being surprised that Sesshomaru would know that," InuYasha explained crankily.

"Why?" Rin asked. "I pick them for him all the time."

"And he takes them?" InuYasha asked, certain that he couldn't be more surprised. The image of his brother accepting pink flowers from a human girl was less believable to him than the thought of Miroku telling the entire group he was gay.

"Yes," Rin answered, looking confused.

"Okay, never mind. Now I know we're not talking about the same guy. I'm sorry to have bothered you." InuYasha turned to walk away.

"InuYasha, stop being an ass!" Sesshomaru barked. "Repeat me, exactly."

"Rin," InuYasha repeated. "We are leaving." Rin's eyes went wide again, abandoning the offended scrutiny she had been giving InuYasha a moment before.

"What was the first thing he said to me?" Rin asked.

"Don't trouble yourself. Human food does nothing for me," Sesshomaru recited. InuYasha repeated him and Rin stood, taking the dragon's reins.

"Hai, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said.

"Keh," InuYahsa scoffed, but led the girl and the dragon back to his own camp. Everyone woke up and shot him a curious look, but he hopped into a tree without bothering to introduce the kid to anyone or explain himself. He was tired and wanted to sleep. "Someone feed Rin," he tossed down to make up for it. Then he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Nearly a week passed before InuYasha finally gave up his resolution to avoid going to get Kagome. Sesshomaru had said nothing to him in four days and if Rin weren't there, he would have forgotten him. As it was, he still wasn't thinking about him as he jumped into the well. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, had no choice but the be painfully aware of his brother. And when he looked down in the empty well, then jumped, he climbed to his feet, about to make a scathing comment about his sanity. That's when everything changed. They were suspended in some strange vortex and Sesshomaru felt horribly disoriented.

"My lord?" Jaken yelled from inside Inu no Taisho's ribs. "What's going on? Is that brat finally releasing us?"

"I do not know, Jaken," Sesshomaru called back, "But I am fairly certain that it is not that."

"Shit," InuYasha said, realizing what he had done when the ladder appeared in front of him. He had just brought his brother with him to Kagome's time. He was uncertain whether he should climb out and go after Kagome or go back to his own time. Finally, he decided what's done is done and climbed out. He walked out of the well-house and ignored Sesshomaru's barrage of questions. He felt a strange relief that his brother was back to that strategy. It meant he hadn't come up with anything better to do.

"Hi, Inu no nii-chan!" Souta called, running up to him. "Have you come to take her back to the feudal era?"

"Is she… ready to go back?" InuYasha asked. Souta flinched.

"Yeah, I think as soon as she gets out of school, she'll be ready to go. Sometimes I wish she'd just stay in the feudal era," Souta muttered.

"Hmph, I'm _glad_ I don't have to deal with her," InuYasha groused back.

"Oh, is it true you stuck your brother in your eye?" Souta asked, peering into InuYasha's eyes as though he would be able to see a tiny youkai peering back.

"Alas," Sesshomaru commented.

"Yeah," InuYasha grunted.

"Is he really worse than you?" Souta asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" InuYasha snapped.

"Well, Kagome's always calling you a jerk, and I guess there are times when you can kinda be one, but she said Sesshomaru's an arrogant creep who's a ten times bigger jerk than you."

"Feh," InuYasha growled. "Yeah, he's a real ass."

"Go to hell," Sesshomaru said.

"Already there," InuYasha answered.

"Is that where this is?"

"No, it's wherever you are," InuYasha retorted.

"Where are we?" Sesshomaru tried again.

"Shut up," InuYasha snapped. Souta had taken a step back and was staring in wonder. "Keh," InuYasha spat, then stalked up to the house. He knew better than to try to get Kagome at school; that _always _ended with 'Sit.' So he harassed Buyo until the cat bit him and ran off. Strangely, Sesshomaru stopped asking questions. InuYasha couldn't know that it was because he was busy watching the television in the hanyo's peripheral vision. Souta was watching anime and Sesshomaru was transfixed.

"What is that thing?" he finally managed to ask during an annoying soda commercial.

"What thing?" InuYasha asked.

"The box with moving pictures and people trapped inside."

"Oh," InuYasha said, turning to it. "That's television."

"What is it?"

"Magic."

"And they trap people inside?"

"No," InuYasha said, feeling superior for knowing something his brother didn't. "They take pictures of them with this thing called a camera and it can only show what it saw when it was on."

"So what is the point?"

"Entertainment," InuYasha answered. "That's called 'anime,' what the kid's watching."

"It's called _Bleach_," Souta corrected.

"Huh? I thought it was anime," InuYasha responded, confused.

"It is, but this anime is called _Bleach_."

"It's about a youkai hunter?" Sesshomaru asked. InuYasha didn't repeat him, so he repeated himself, loudly. InuYasha got the hint.

"No," Souta answered. "They're not youkai. Well, not exactly. They're corrupted dead souls. And he doesn't kill them, he frees them." InuYasha's interest was caught, so he went and sat by Sota and watched with the boy. A naked woman appeared on the screen and he blushed furiously and glanced away, noticing that Souta had done the same thing. InuYasha decided to find something better to do, so he went upstairs to Kagome's room, despite Sesshomaru's protests that he 'was watching that.'

InuYasha stepped into the room and went through Kagome's things, trying to find something he hadn't seen before. Finally, in one of her drawers, he lifted out a book that didn't look like one of her school textbooks. The cover said 'Fruits Basket Fanbook.' There was a little note on it that read:

'Kagome, I hope you like this doujinshi, it's my favorite! I know you don't like Shigure, something about him reminding you too much of a friend of yours who's also a hentai, but he looks so good with Ayame!  
-Ayumi'

"A friend who is a transformation?" Sesshomaru asked in confusion. (_Obnoxious author's note: hentai originally means 'transformation' in Japanese and has nothing to do with its slang meaning in modern times. The two are entirely unrelated concepts… unless you've seen Sailor Moon. End O/A/N_)

"No, in Kagome's time, hentai means a pervert," InuYasha explained just as Kagome walked in. "She must have meant Miroku."

"Aaaah!" Kagome shrieked as InuYasha opened the book. He dropped it from the combination of what he saw and the scream.

"What the fuck is that?" InuYasha yelled. Kagome dived for the book before he could grab it and held it away from him. "Kagome, that's… that's…"

"Yaoi," Kagome finished. "And it's not mine! Ayumi keeps insisting that I read it so I was just humoring her!"

"_**Those were naked men**!_" InuYasha screamed, trying to get the image out of his head.

"They were both men?" Sesshomaru asked. "The one with the silver hair looked like a woman."

"Not on the next page he didn't!" InuYasha yelled.

"Calm down, my mother's going to hear you!" Kagome said.

"_How can you read that_?" InuYasha continued to roar.

"Osuwari," Kagome muttered. InuYasha slammed into the ground. "Are you done yelling?" InuYasha muttered and Sesshomaru wished the girl had understood him. He knew that the hanyo would be punished again. He was getting rather amused by this trick. "As I was saying, it's not mine! And I haven't read it!"

"Because it's yaoi or whatever or because you don't like the characters?" InuYasha asked with a growl while sitting up. Kagome blushed bright red.

"So she likes the thought of two men together," Sesshomaru taunted. "Are you going to rut that monk for her?"

"_**You shut the fuck up you stupid son of a fucking bitch**!_" InuYasha shrieked.

"What did he just say?" Kagome demanded, her eyes wide at the string of expletives.

"You can 'sit' me all the way to hell and I'm not repeating it!" InuYasha fumed.

"Hmm, did I hit a nerve? Oh, don't tell me you've already had sex with him," Sesshomaru teased.

"I hate you," InuYasha growled.

"Oh, so you have. Hmm, were you on top or the bottom?" Sesshomaru asked with an evil grin. Taunting InuYasha when there was nothing he could do about it was an unexpected amount of fun. "I bet you were the bottom."

"_I have not fucked Miroku_!" InuYasha shouted. Kagome's eyes went wide and she fell back on her butt.

"_You did **what **with Miroku_?" Kagome screamed.

"I said I _didn't_!" InuYasha yelled, hitting the floor. Then he looked past Kagome at Souta, who was standing there with his hand on the doorknob, eyes wide and frightened. He slowly stepped back, shutting the door behind him. InuYasha buried his face in his hands, suppressing the urge to rip his right eye out.

"Was it the wolf then?" Sesshomaru asked calmly. "Is that why you get so jealous? Are you really having sex with that wolf?"

"I'm not sleeping with Koga, either!" InuYasha yelled. Kagome was afraid he was about to pop a vein and tried to think of something to get back at Sesshomaru with. She thought about flashing InuYasha again, but she doubted that would work. So she thought about it and finally, her brain had an answer. She opened the doujinshi, and then dodged InuYasha's attack on it.

"Calm down, InuYasha, I need a reference picture," she said.

"A what?" InuYasha asked, confusion and anger mixing in him so badly that if he were a chemistry experiment, there would be little InuYasha pieces decorating Kagome's pink walls.

"Just a minute," she said, grabbing a pencil. She went over to her desk and bent over a sheet of paper, looking at the offending book repeatedly, until InuYasha had to face away from her, wondering if she was picturing him with Koga, like Sesshomaru said she was. "There!" she said, then walked over to InuYasha and handed him the picture. InuYasha stared at it in shock. It was a manga-style rapturous Sesshomaru being held down and fucked by an ecstatic Miroku, who had a grip on his hair. Sesshomaru's word bubble had him saying, 'Please, houshi-sama, love me!' and Miroku responding with 'Of course, my sweet little bitch!'

"I'm going to kill her, slowly and painfully," Sesshomaru growled from inside InuYasha. InuYasha laughed, all the anger draining away in an instant. He stared at the paper to make Sesshomaru suffer for a while, then dropped it on the floor, hoping to never see anything like it again.

"I can't believe you drew that," InuYasha said, pushing it away with his foot.

"You laughed," Kagome pointed out, picking it up and glancing at it. A blush spread across her cheeks and she shoved it in the doujinshi, then both went into her clothes drawer. "Don't get in my underwear again, either," she growled. InuYasha blushed this time.

"I was bored and you won't let me get you from school."

"Well, duh, I'm not explaining how a dog-eared hanyo dressed in a gaudy red kimono from the feudal era knows me to my friends!" Kagome turned to InuYasha, who was staring at her in horror. His ears were flat against his hair and she realized what she had just said. "InuYasha, I didn't mean…"

"Go to hell," he whispered, then turned and jumped out her window, running back to the well as fast as he could. Kagome chased after him, horrified at herself. She had been so worried about embarrassment that it never occurred to her that she was doing something worse to him than all the people who called him an abomination to his face. '_Good enough to love, but not to be known?_' She ended up tripping into the well in her frantic run and fell face first. Thankfully, everything slowed down when she crossed over, or she would have broken her neck.

She climbed out of the well and ended up getting knocked down by a very pissed off taiyoukai. Sesshomaru stood over the girl, then knelt and wrapped his fingers around her throat. InuYasha slammed into him, tearing his fingers away from Kagome and hit him as hard as he could. Sesshomaru knocked him away, but InuYasha was so enraged at this point, he barely moved back and ended up on his brother's chest, slamming one fist after another into the youkai's face. Sesshomaru slammed his hand into InuYasha's face, giving him a blinding dose of poison, then returned to attack Kagome.

He stepped over to her, but stopped when he realized that she was crying. Her face was buried in her hands and her shoulders shook with audible sobs. He took a step back, confused. He hated it when people cried and he wanted to kill her, but something was stopping him. Something beside dodging the wild blows of his brother. When Kagome looked up at him, her eyes swollen and her broken heart on her face, he saw Rin. He saw the pitiful child gazing at him through her bruises as her face fell when he refused her food, again. Rin hadn't shed tears, but her eyes had been just as swollen, the pain just as real.

"Stop, InuYasha," Sesshomaru said, stepping away from another blind attack. "I'm sorry." InuYasha opened his mouth to yell something, but his face changed and he stared in Sesshomaru's direction with his mouth open.

"What?"

"I said, I'm sorry." Refusing to say more, he turned and walked away, not bothering to glance back. Jaken ran behind him, mute with shock and Sesshomaru decided that it was going to be a good day. InuYasha was still staring where Sesshomaru had been when Kagome spoke up.

"I'm sorry, too," she said. He looked towards her and his ears twitched.

"I _have _gone insane," he muttered. "I thought I heard both of you apologize to me."

"Oh, good, I was afraid I was hearing things myself," Kagome said, relieved and wiping her eyes, "when Sesshomaru apologized. But I really _am _sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. It's that no one in my time knows that youkai are real," she explained. "And no one knows about my time traveling. I doubt they'd believe it anyway, but… I just didn't want…"

"To live like I've had to," InuYasha said, crouching down in front of her. "I don't want you to, either," InuYasha said. "I wouldn't wish that life on anyone. Well, maybe Sesshomaru." Kagome leaned forward and kissed him. He fell backwards, not having been able to see her coming and she landed on top of him. Kagome blushed and tried to get up, but InuYasha pinned her down to his chest and kissed her back. After a while, he let her go and she crawled off him to escape the embarrassment of being aware of how much he had enjoyed their kiss.

They sat there quietly for a while. It was rather picturesque, idyllic and peaceful. Kagome was happy. So of course, that meant that InuYasha's brain was still obsessing over things best forgotten. And when his brain pesters him, it eventually finds its way out of his mouth. The filter between the two was rather flimsy.

"You… haven't… slept with anyone yet, right?" he asked.

"Excuse me?" she said softly. If InuYasha had been more perceptive, he would have stopped right then, while the flame was only a flicker of danger in her eyes. Unfortunately, that fire rat kimono protects him from the heat of rage as well as other fires and helps him be an idiot.

"Well, I mean… You drew that picture pretty well…" InuYasha's ear twitched when Kagome stood up and walked away.

"InuYasha…" Finally, the light dawned in our protagonist's little brain with the tone in Kagome's voice, but it was too late for him, as always.

"Oh, shit," he managed to say.

"O-su-wa-ri." THWOMP. "Don't fuck with me, dog boy."

_**The End.**_

_Wow that ending sucked. Then why is that the end? Because I say it is! I am not a funny person and I've run out of humor. Bite me. If, by any chance you laughed at any of that, feel free to leave a review and let me know! I love reviews. I can't pimp myself enough for them. Oh, yeah, and as a final reminder, don't bother leaving a review about them being OOC or I'll sick the fangirl monkeys on you without any pocky! A/N Pocky is a Japanese candy that involves chocolate and other tasty things and can be very addictive. Um, yeah. Peace, love and penguins until next time!_


End file.
